Saturday, March 15, 2014

How to deal with haters/bashers

Based on my previous post, a person I didn't know commented on my picture via Instagram. It is just one word, but it depicted me as a shallow person.  I should've just ignored it and blocked him, but I gave in and answered back.  I thought he would then realize the error of his ways and lay off my IG, but he did not waver and commented again and again.

I may have been foolish, harsh or too arrogant in my responses, but I believe that I made sense.  Here are the screenshots of our conversation:





My mother told me to let it go, but I kept on answering back.  I don't know.  I told my Mom, sometimes, you need to make people learn from their mistakes, and put them in their right places.  But this person..... wow!  It's like he has this checklist in his head on what I should've done.  He was teaching me what to do!

When I saw his pictures on Instagram, it became clear to me.  This is a narcissistic person who likes everything to go according to his whims.  He's a selfie addict who poses like a model from a fashion magazine but fails miserably.

Yes, I am now a part of the "patola" group.  Patola, beki speak as in "mapagpatol" or someone who gets affected by negativity and lashes out to defend herself.  I think I should've handled it differently and not give in to his tirade, but the "patola" part in me just couldn't let go.  It was like a force.  I wanted him to understand where I was coming from.  I wanted him to apologize for judging me as "maarte."  Because as far as I was concerned, I was the one who's in the right.  

So, I chose his picture with the best "wagas" pose and commented on it.  I wanted him to realize something.  Unfortunately, he said he doesn't give me permission to repost his photo because he did not hashtag it.  So, if you put a hashtag on a picture, it is LEGAL for another person to repost that picture?  Yes, that reason for him was valid.  This was a screenshot of my comment:

 

To put it simply, a hashtag is simply a way for people to search for tweets/photos that have a common topic and to begin a conversation.  It still does not give an entity permission to repost your photo just like what The Food Club did to mine. I also saw The Food Club repost a picture with a child on the photo.  If they did not ask permission from the parents for reposting this, for me it's exploitation.  Using a stolen photo of a child to promote your establishment?  That's not a nice business practice!

A photo can depict a lot of things and stolen photos can sometimes bring harm.  A lot of times, photos get edited and made into a meme much to the person's embarrassment.  It can also be used to steal someone's identity.  That was the main reason why I wanted my picture taken down.  I did not want my picture be used in any promotion, advertisement, or article without my permission.  That's why I do not like the repost apps.  Yes, credit is there, but still, it's like broadcasting "I stole this picture from @you."

After his last comment though, I realized, there really are people who cannot get it.  People who will always choose to see the bad in you.  People who will choose to make you feel worse about yourself.  So, I opted to stop giving him what he wants and have the last word.  After posting my last comment on his picture (so he can still read it), I blocked him.  I also blocked The Food Club.  Then I turned my IG into private, even if I didn't want to, because I thought he might have minions that could get into my account and do the same he did to me.  I don't want to give them the satisfaction.

After all these, I realized 3 things I should've done instead of giving in and joining the "patola" bandwagon:

1.  Ignore the prick.

Yes.  That was the most sensible thing I could've done.  See, if I just ignored his comment, he probably will go on his way, posting selfies on his IG, not giving me the time of day.  When I replied to his comment, I made him feel important.  I think this is the best way.... treat him with indifference.

2.  Block the idiot.

See number 1.  As I am not a celebrity, I don't think he would've come back to my account if I didn't reply to his comment.  However, blocking him after giving the last word seems very, very, very satisfying.  It's like having the last laugh. Bwahahahaha!

3.  Replied with "God bless you." or a smiley.

God always neutralizes negativity.  Happiness is contagious.  He might have needed someone to smile at him that day.

I also realized some of my mistakes and weaknesses.  I was an arrogant, bitchy, compulsive, grumpy, harsh, impulsive, mean, nasty, overemotional, quarrelsome, ruthless, sarcastic, tactless, unkind, and vengeful person.  That's a lot, huh? And those adjectives were in alphabetical order!

He might have been a self-centered ignorant fool, but his comments grounded me.  It made me more human.  That's why I wanted to write about this experience.  I have never received negative comments before, and I want to remember how stupid I was the first time it happened.  I want to remember that not everything is about me.  Most importantly, I want to remember that we are only human.  We can say and do things that we might regret, but the important thing is you learn from it and grow more into a selfless, conscientious, and God-fearing individual.

Cheers!




Thursday, March 13, 2014

Social Media Responsibility and The Food Club Manila

I started as a Friendster junkie.  I was always on, leaving glittery comments to people I don't even know.  Then came Twitter, where I retweeted love quotes and jokes every day.  Facebook came along and I started being generous, giving virtual gifts or throwing virtual cows to anyone who throws something back. Instagram was the latest of my social media addiction.  Selfies were a necessity, pouting at your reflection in the mirror or just taking a pic of yourself in different poses and making a collage out of it.

Within these sites or apps came more apps to complement them.  Like the repost app for IG, or the numerous games for FB.

As any other "getting old" person, I began to wean from IG and selfies, little by little... concentrating more on things, and food, and kids' awards, and stuff.  Then I began to worry about my kids' safety when I posted their certificates.  I have made them open target to anything bad, or good.  I saw that my kids' schools were visible there, and I began to worry about abduction.  I saw that my kids' faces were there so I worried about recognition, and their pictures being used for something bad. Let's not say that I am being overly ridiculous, you know stuff like these happen.

I realized then, while plastering our faces and our on-goings on the net, I am constantly putting my family at risk.  So, I began to be a little cautious.  Though sometimes when you're in the moment, you cannot help posting pictures, but I now feel more responsible.

So here's the story.  A restaurant (The Food Club Manila) reposted my pictures from IG using a repost app.  It shows me carrying a plate of crepe that I made for my Mom at their resto.  I have other pictures there that were reposted.  I told them to delete the picture with my face, and I gave them permission to keep the others posted.  Those pictures were of the resto and their food.

They deleted it.

The next day, I woke up, checked my IG and there it was again.  They reposted my picture after I told them not to.  Not only that, they reposted it to Facebook as well. If that isn't social media irresponsibility, I don't know what is. I told them again to delete it.  They did, but they did not even apologize for making the same mistake twice.  One of the management staff even said that "nakalagay naman name nya dun eh," to make it somehow seem okay to repost my picture without permission.

A guy commented on my post and asked me if what I'm doing is "arte," and I told him off.  I believe in social media responsibility.  If he doesn't, then I don't care.  It is time that companies, like The Food Club, know that it's not always about profit.  Companies should be responsible in everything they do.  I am not allowing any individual or entity to use my face or any of my family's in any form of advertisement.  Because reposting pictures of people eating at your resto is a form of advertisement or promotion (Yes, I am not dumb.).

Since I side-commented I am not dumb, let me assure you I checked IG's privacy policy, which states that:
By using our Service you understand and agree that we are providing a platform for you to post content, including photos, comments and other materials ("User Content"), to the Service and to share User Content publicly. This means that other Users may search for, see, use, or share any of your User Content that you make publicly available through the Service, consistent with the terms and conditions of this Privacy Policy and our Terms of Use.
But, I also read Instagram's Community Guidelines, and saw this:

           What not to do:
It is important to note that overstepping the boundaries outlined below may result in a disabled account, or discontinued access to Instagram, without warning.
  1. Don’t share photos or videos that aren’t yours.

    This includes other people’s posts, and/or things that you have copied or collected from the Internet. Accounts that solely consist of only this type of content may be disabled at any time.
See?  This is not rocket science.  It's just a matter of RESPECT.  Respect what is mine.  The first offense is forgivable, but a second mistake is deliberate and seems to mock my intelligence.  I know my right, and I know what is right.

Social media has been a big help to corporations and even small businesses, and they have within their grasp to change people's perception of them.  One mistake can bring a good business down.  Always retrain or remind your social media marketers about their responsibilities.  If they do not know what they are, then maybe you got the wrong employees on board.

Let's all respect one another and be unafraid to ask for an apology for your mistakes.


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Elance

See the widget on the right?  :)

As I have been idle for years now, I feel very bloated and useless.  I want to work at home but cannot find the right opportunity.  My daughter told me about Elance, and I tried signing up for it.  The sign-up is simple and it makes sure that both parties (employer and employee) are both protected.  Your identity will be verified a number of times.  I was pretty weary about putting all my information on the site, but I am giving it the benefit of the doubt.

I have not applied for a job yet, but I am browsing all the open jobs.  I am also looking at other searchers' profiles so I can see how they "sell" themselves.  I am pretty new at this so I need to research first before I plunge.

I hope that I can find a job soon.  :)

You can also find Elance on Facebook.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Empty

Lately, I've been feeling sad and lonely. My kids are always fighting... Shouting at each other. I do not see love in them. I cannot see Anea or Anton taking care of Dale when I'm gone. Anea and Anton are very smart, but not amiable. Especially towards their brother Dale. I don't know why. Anton is clearly jealous of him for reasons unknown and maybe preposterous. 

Of all the negative things I've experienced, I always tell people that my children are my strength. They are my reasons for breathing; but the way they are acting makes me feel so alone and unimportant. 

*sigh*

Friday, January 24, 2014

Packing Woes

My family and I rarely go on trips, and if we do, I do all the packing for me and the kids.  We are going to Subic this Saturday for the Subic Marathon with my cousins.  No, I am not going to run, but will be with my kids in the hotel to relax.


I've started to pack and frankly, I do not hate packing.  I don't have a very good system, but I am the type to overpack, rather than the light packer.  I pack my sons' things separately.  They have their own backpacks. When they were younger, I pack all of our things in one big bag, but now that they're older, it's nice to have them be responsible for their things for a change.


I put all their clothes in a plastic bag before putting them inside their backpacks.  This way, it doesn't look too cluttered.  The plastic bag will then be used after when their clothes are all dirty.


These are the things I packed for an overnight trip:

  • 2 shirts
  • 1 shorts
  • swimming trunks ( for when they want to swim)
  • pajamas
  • 2 undies
  • bathrobe/towel
  • hankies/face towel

I also pack their small bags which carry their car essentials like their mp3 players, headphones, candies, hankies, etc.

Of course, we also need to bring toiletries.  I usually reuse the kit that came from my hospital stays.  The bag that comes with it is made of plastic so it's a little waterproof.  There's:

  • toothpaste and toothbrushes
  • soap (Dove for Anton because he's allergic to anything else)
  • shampoo and conditioner
  • feminine wash
  • comb

I also bring medicines like Biogesic for fever, and Dialix for Anton's allergies.  I also have plastic bags in my own small bag so whenever the kids feel like barfing from the long car drive, I'm ready! One of the most important items now are chargers! I have to remember to bring our gadget chargers.

Food and drinks are also essential with a long drive like this.  I usually bring biscuits, sandwiches, and water or the kids' fave drinks

For tips on packing, you may read these:

How to Pack Light by Travelista
Packing Smart by Rick Steves

Watch this video from Heathrow.